Friday, 7 February 2014

Because we are in Greece

Today we had no mains electricity here in the village. A passer-by — another foreigner of course — asked me if I knew why. ‘Yes,’ I said: ‘It’s because we are in Greece.’

A man dies and because he has led a very sinful life he is sent to hell. At the gates he is asked his nationality. ‘Well, my father was German and my mother Greek.’ ‘Ah. In that case you have a choice: the Greek hell or the German one.’ ‘Oh. May I see the German hell?’ ‘Certainly; this way please.’ In the German hell the condemned are standing up to their chins in — er — raw sewage, and every few minutes the devil, a bevy of giggling girls beside him, whizzes by in a speedboat, delighting in making waves that wash the sewage into the mouths of the condemned. ‘Right. Thank you. Now may I see the Greek hell?’ ‘Yes; this way’: in the Greek hell the condemned are standing up to their chins in the same stuff, and every few minutes the devil… well you get the picture. ‘Now,’ says the under-devil, ‘Make your choice.’ ‘Oh, please, may I have the Greek hell?’ ‘Yes, all right, but why? They’re both exactly the same.’ ‘But, you see, in the Greek hell there will be days when the drains block and we shall only be up to our knees in sewage, other days when the devil doesn’t feel like coming to work, and others when they forget to put any petrol in the speedboat, and …’

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